Just Call Me Captain

It’s a lesson you have to learn over and over again when you travel: the most unexpected adventures, often arising from unforeseeable and unwanted circumstances, always turn out to be the most enjoyable. New Zealand embodified this lesson for me.

Middle Earth from above

I expected a lot from New Zealand and it most certainly delivered. In the most unexpected of ways. Take the campervan for starters. Before we get to New Zealand, I’m not exactly 100% sold on the whole campervan thing. It just doesn’t at all really sound like my thing. Plus, the one story that sticks out in my mind about such vehicles is from my mother, who hated everything about her experience in one. But Micha has his heart set on traveling with one - Germans have a funny penchant for campervans and the practicality they offer- so I figure I can manage a few weeks. And lo and behold, despite the 24 hours intense together time in five square meters of a moving vehicle, and the fact that we have to set up our bed every night and the table and benches again for breakfast every morning, I truly end up loving the darn thing (and even missing it later on!).

 Kitchen and breakfast table inside the campervan

We name ours Brit – partially because of the company name, Britz, plastered across it and partially in homage to Flight of the Conchords – and almost think of him as another companion on the road. I’m the captain of Brit for this adventure, seeing as Micha lost his driver’s license perhaps somewhere in China (or perhaps somewhere deep in the recesses of our backpacks, we may never know!) which seems like it could be a disaster*. Driving is not exactly my favorite hobby. But we persevere, Brit and I. Both Micha and Brit are the recipients of entirely too many exclamations of “what effing hand do I use?!” and “wait! wait! how do I turn left?!” before the whole stick shift on the left side thing finally starts to make sense and I actually start to feel like the captain of our little ship.

*Side note: Because Kiwis are the perhaps most friendly and accommodating people on earth, both the police and the car rental company agree to let Micha drive "on his own discretion." So he does drive some (e.g. on terrifying zigzag uphill roads) but not nearly as much as we’d both planned on.

Brit takes us from Christchurch in the north of the south island to Queenstown and Milford Sound in the south and then back through Kaikoura and Nelson in the north again. We traverse the narrow Cook Strait with him on a ferry to the north island and by the time we get to Auckland, we’ve driven almost 4000 kilometers together. His engine light is on the entire time, we have to refill cooling fluid every other day, and we’ve been back to the rental agency in Christchurch three times as a result, but he’s still our trusty little companion that I never expected to even minimally like. 

Christchurch I expect to love. Natalie had sent me a What to Do in New Zealand, South Island Edition email ahead of time (she'd spent 6 months in the country during college and had been pretty much everywhere) and described it as the "cutest, artsy city" that was by far her favorite. But the 2010 and 2011 earthquakes that damaged the city beyond recognition – and way beyond what was discussed in international media – leave us feeling supremely depressed about what it must have been and what it’s become. The once artsy inner city is now reduced to piles of rubble and some half-standing buildings. Even those buildings that survived still stand empty, and it remains unclear if they'll be preserved or just torn down. The one little glimmer of hope we see is the adorably colorful Re:START mall made entirely of shipping containers, encouraging people to still hang out in the city and keep the economy going. We leave hoping Christchurch can quickly rebuild itself and hoping for more pleasant surprises in our upcoming destinations.

Damaged Christchurch city center

Gnomey enjoying a (somewhat) German bratwurst in the Re:START mall

Springtime in the Christchurch botanical gardens

Queenstown surprises us with its quaint little buildings and bustling streets full of adventure seekers, as well as with its shockingly (to us, the ill-prepared) freezing nights. Before we even get there, we supremely underestimate the time it will take to get to Queenstown, and yet are so entranced by the scenery as we drive that we barely even notice how much time passes on the road

With scenery like this, who cares how long you're driving for?

 Literally our only sheep picture from New Zealand...

We break down and buy gloves and wool socks on our second day there and will thank Kiwi Dave (who we stayed with in Auckland) to the end of our days for the sleeping bag he gave us for extra warmth that saved my toes from falling off during the -8°C (17°F) nights in the van. We don't have quite enough time or budget to take advantage of all the insane and awesome activities that Queenstown, Adventure Capital of the World!, has to offer, but Micha rides the Shotover Jet and loves it and we hike to the top of the mountain aside our campground and take the fabulous, but shorter than expected, luge at the top. We even get to catch an All Blacks game in a craft beer pub on the lake and, to our surprise, leave with a new love for rugby and a sudden realization of what wimps hockey players are in comparison. Queenstown is a place we 100% have to return to when we have about 10 times the budget of this trip set aside for it...

 Best, most giant burgers EVER at Fergburger

The first wrench that’s almost thrown in our plans comes when we hear that the Milford Pass is closed due to an avalanche. It’s the only road that takes you to Milford Sound and that is one sight that we know we absolutely cannot miss (Natalie’s email very specifically says so). But after one extra night in Queenstown, we’re rewarded with the news that the pass has reopened, and so we eagerly head there right after dawn the next morning. Eagerly thanks to the hot coffee we get to make each morning in the van on our wee little French press that we bought in Sydney on a whim (for $5!) and quickly realize is the best purchase we will have made on this entire trip.

The snowy road to Milford

Nearly all of my recently-learned-in-Germany driving skills are put to the test in this one morning: driving a stick shift, on hills, in the snow. Not to mention on the wrong side of the road with the stick shift on the wrong side, too... I have only a couple minor meltdowns and one single stall-out before everything proceeds just fine through the Homer Tunnel and we make it to Milford at last.

I wish I could do Milford Sound justice with words but I really don’t think I can. It's perfection. The sunny day we got was perfection, the colors are beyond words, and the off-season aspect only make things better with a boat that's barely 1/5 full. Our one piece of advice that we’ll pass on from a tip from Kiwi Dave: don’t miss out on the Milford Discovery Center and Underwater Observatory on the sound! No one books it and yet it was one of the highlights of our day! We even got to ride with the crew back to the harbor and go on a spontaneous penguin search with them on the way back. (We didn’t see penguins but we did spot seals and a pod of playful dolphins!)

 Micha happily snapping some shots for a Japanese tour group

One of our favorite learned-in-China poses: the Nixon

We spend a night in Te Anau at the most adorable campground with a lodge-y feel and fireplace before starting to make our way back north the next day. The plan is to head west over the Haast pass to the west coast for some glacier activities, but New Zealand has other plans for us. Yet again, a pass has closed. This time because of a landslide that does not look like it will be cleaned up quickly. However, seeing as that's our only way to get to the west coast and the Fox and Franz Josef glaciers, we decide to wait around a bit in a town nearish the pass, Wanaka, to see if any news updates bring the news of an open pass that we're hoping for. (The news we want doesn't come and, over the course of the next few days, we realize that this turn of events is actually exactly what we want.)

The gorgeous, windy road to Wanaka

Among other things, our new friends Chris and Sara are literal gold diggers!

Wanaka, an unexpected stop, turns out to be one of the most highlights of our trip. Mostly thanks to Sara and Chris, who we meet at the campground that the four of us seem to have all to ourselves. We know we'll get along swimmingly when Chris later tells us, "we saw you get out of the van and were just hoping that you like to drink!" We eat dinner and drink boxed wine (theirs) and plastic jugs of craft beer (ours) together at night and spend a day first at a brewery and then on a vineyard. It’s not the epic glacier trek we had expected to be embarking on for those two days but it’s exactly what we want to be doing. When we hear that the pass won’t reopen again until at least the next week, we’re no longer even disappointed. We have new plans and new friends to meet up with a few days later when we’ve all made our way northwards to the other coast instead.

And then comes the best surprise of the trip: Kaikoura. And more specifically, the dolphins of Kaikoura. We hadn’t planned on going there since we wouldn’t be able to hit both the west and east coasts of the south island in the time we had, but I had still looked into the numerous water activities that Kaikoura is known for anyways. Everyone recommended whale watching there but that sounded a little too subdued for us. After the first rumor of the Haast Pass being closed, I immediately looked into dolphin swimming in Kaikoura and fell in love with the idea. Micha, the non-animal lover, is not entirely convinced. But then he meets the dolphins.

 Kaikoura, where the ocean meets the (Southern) Alps

Off the coast of Kaikoura is an insane shelf that drops off to deeper than 500 meters. As a result, there’s a huge amount of amazing, and large, sealife right off the coast. The tiny little dusky dolphins are one of the highlights. They’re small, playful, and like to show off. Only one company takes boats swimming with them twice a day and don’t disrupt or lure the dolphins in any way. You get to swim with them entirely in their natural habitat and only if they feel like it. Happily, the dolphins most certainly feel like it when we’re there and after only an hour’s boat ride, we pull on our gear – full wetsuits, booties, hoods, gloves, and snorkels, it’s arctic-like waters here! – and jump off the back of the boat right into a pod of over 50 spunky dusky dolphins.

The icy water knocks the breath right out of me and as soon as I get it back, I see a massive shadow underneath that then speeds towards the surface and splashes up just inches from my head! They say these dolphins are tiny, but they’re still mighty bigger than I am! We were told to make all sorts of noise in our snorkels to attract the dolphins and I’m convinced my humming/squeaking/singing is music to their ears. I never have less than five swimming around me at once, urging me to join in on the fun. We circle around with the dolphins – they love when you try to keep up with them – dive down to their level and try to keep them with us for as long as possible. They love making eye contact and there may be no better feeling than seeing a sweet little dolphin look you directly in the eye and then start circling around you like you were his new best friend.

I don’t leave the boat without an injury and a bout of seasickness. I somehow manage to scooch-jump (on my butt) from one step of the boat, thinking I would land directly in the water but instead landing (so freaking hard) directly on the next step down, right on my butt. I’m (still) convinced I aggravated an old broken tailbone and can’t sit down comfortably for the next few days. And while Micha films the dolphins on the front of the boat, racing and playing and flipping their little hearts out, I sit in the back with two nearly green Japanese guys and one British girl and try my darndest not to lose all of my lunch. (I fail. We all fail.)

Not my prettiest moment...

Our last days on the south island also don’t go as planned. Yet again, they turn out so much better. We park one night in a campground right on the beach at Kaiteriteri, near the Abel Tasman national park after having spent a day and a rainy night in Nelson with Chris and Sara, cooking, drinking, and mastering the art of the Tim Tam Slam.

 Picking mussels for dinner at Kaiteriter

 We make our way along the Nelson Craft Beer Trail, Micha’s most coveted destination of the trip, where the brewery he was looking forward to visit – the Mussel Inn – turns out to be a bit of a disappointment (the people, not the beer). However, on our way there, we stop at a smaller brewery and find out they’re just in the process of opening, having bought the brewery just a few months before. We take Nicki, who’s manning the shop for the day, up on her offer to stop by again and talk to her husband, Simon, the brewer, and before we know it, Micha’s agreed to the offer to brew with him in two days’ time and we push back the date of our ferry journey over to the north island. Opportunities like that can be once in a lifetime and I couldn’t be happier that he gets to do exactly what he set out to do with a guy who is so much more fun that we could have ever expected. Hops Federation absolutely made that part of the trip for us. Hopefully, we’ll get to pay back the favor some day! 

And then, the next thing you know, we're making our way on the ferry over to Wellington, to discover what we can of the North Island in the next 7 days before our trans-Pacific flight...